Welcome to the Busy Gamer Guide to Penny Arcade Expo (PAX). Although we are completely unaffiliated with PAX, we feel that the large amounts of time and dough we've put into every single one qualifies us to share our opinions and guidance. Meydenbauer 2004 peeps – holla!
Seriously, we've been at this rodeo five times before, plus we live in Seattle. So trust us when we say... no one can give you all the info you need. But we can give you enough to help you make the most of your opportunities.
But first you have some decisions to make.
Start a mission
To enter PAX, you must possess a pass or ticket. As of August 26, all multi-day passes were gone and only a handful of single-day registrations were left. If you haven't already claimed a pass or ticket, head to registration NOW. Pricing and pick-up details are available on the PAX site.
- If you pre-ordered a 3-day pass, it should be in the mail and arriving any day. Report to the mission start point (Washington State Convention & Trade Center) on Sept. 4 with your badge.
- If you will be picking up your badge, report to mission start point Hyatt Hotel first to pick up your badge. (This is different from previous years!) Badges will be available starting at noon Thursday. Go early to beat the inevitable rush for a first-day mana boost!
Choose an alignment
PAX is a real-time, real-world, free-will game that permits you to choose either a positive or negative alignment. Like other alignment-based games, choosing the negative alignment ("Dick") may result in visible physical changes (Quest lines: "Black Eye," "Bruises," "Broken Bones") that will remain with you for the entire game. It is also more likely to result in early resolution of the main quest (Quest line: "Thrown Out of PAX by a Burly Yet Amicable Enforcer.") If you are determined to enhance your negative alignment, select the "Grab a Strange Woman's Ass" quest line. Yes, this actually happens but will most likely result in immediate facial enhancement (Quest line: "Boyfriend Beat Down") and abruptly end your main quest.
Selecting a positive alignment offers the opportunity to acquire loot ("SWAG"), expand your guild, get invited to parties and generally enhance your overall PAX experience.
As legendary guest speaker and leveled-up PAX attendee Wil Wheaton says, "Don't be a dick." (If you don't know who Wil is, then your first quest line has already begun!. Also look up founders Jerry Holkins (aka Tycho) and Mike Krahulik (Gabe) plus bonus points for knowing musicians Jonathan Coulton and MC Frontalot - you will hear their names A LOT at PAX.
Tips for enhancing your positive alignment:
Inventory bags will be available during the side quest "Exhibition Hall" (see "Select a quest line" below), but we recommend bringing your own inventory bag to the main quest - ideally one that is large and heavily reinforced. The following items should be in your inventory slots before beginning a quest:
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| PAX 2007: Wil Wheaton says, 'Don't be a dick!' |
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| PAX 2008: Girls at PAX - look but don't touch! |
As legendary guest speaker and leveled-up PAX attendee Wil Wheaton says, "Don't be a dick." (If you don't know who Wil is, then your first quest line has already begun!. Also look up founders Jerry Holkins (aka Tycho) and Mike Krahulik (Gabe) plus bonus points for knowing musicians Jonathan Coulton and MC Frontalot - you will hear their names A LOT at PAX.
Tips for enhancing your positive alignment:
- Respect the lines: Yes, you've been waiting forever. So have we.
- If someone asks you to save their place, do so. Eventually, you will need to pee, too.
- If you want to take someone's pic (say, a bodacious cosplayer), ask – she'll probably turn around and smile and everything!
- Don't be a SWAG hog. Or if you must, wait until late Sunday. Vendors would rather give you multiple key chains and posters than schlep them home.
- Turn your cell phone ringer off. We really don't care which song you chose just for your mom.
- Bathe. Daily. With soap.
Inventory bags will be available during the side quest "Exhibition Hall" (see "Select a quest line" below), but we recommend bringing your own inventory bag to the main quest - ideally one that is large and heavily reinforced. The following items should be in your inventory slots before beginning a quest:
- Map. You will be provided with a mission map (aka program/schedule) at the beginning of the main quest. Retain this in your inventory at all times.
- Nintendo DS, PSP, iPhone or other portable gaming device. Because you'll be standing in line. A lot. And you might find a buddy to play an ad hoc multiplayer game with.
- Bottled water and snacks. Buy ahead of time and bring them with you, either at a local store or Starbucks. It will still cost less than at the Convention Center.
- Cash. Yes, many merchants will accept your credit. Some will not. To avoid the side mission "ATM hunt," bring sufficient gold with you to cover incidentals and acquisitions.
- Camera. Photo ops abound. People in outlandish costumes, Internet celebrities, games that haven't been released yet, items you can't afford to buy but want to remember longingly.
- Cell phone. If you have texting, use it to communicate with friends – you won't be able to hear them on the floor, and you will have your quest ended if you take a call during a session. If you don't text, use Facebook, Twitter or phone messages to communicate. You will rarely be able to hear your phone during side quest "Exhibition Hall."
Select a quest line
PAX offers a variety of quest lines to meet every interest and need. Experienced players know that planning what you want to see and do is just the beginning. There are several factors to consider, including locations, timing and event popularity. Some events will require long wait times: Evaluate your situation on an ongoing basis, and adjust accordingly. A willingness to adapt and, in some cases, abandon a quest line will help you reduce frustration and increase satisfaction with your overall main quest progress.
PAX 2008: Make a beeline for Rock Band!
Tips for new players:
- Review the panel descriptions online well in advance. Choose your must-sees and make a note of where and when they are scheduled. You may have to leave one quest (session) early to make it to another one on time.
- Certain quests are guaranteed to fill up. So if you wish to add Rooster Teeth (Red vs. Blue), Penny Arcade, Wil Wheaton, or major developer sessions to your quest line, arrive early and get in line. Note: The people turned away from last year's Fallout 3 session filled more than half of a very cavernous hall (and we were among them)! This is no longer a small event where admittance to anything you might want to do is all but guaranteed.
- The early bird gets the concert bracelet. To unlock the concert mission, you must first complete the "Acquire a Wristband" quest. This closes immediately upon distribution of all bracelets. Arrive at the designated map point as soon as the mission becomes available (before the day's events begin) for your best chance to complete this popular mission.
- Save a couple of hours to complete side quest "Exhibition Hall." Part sales floor, part game demo, all fun. Lots to see and buy ranging from developers you've never heard of to the Big Three – many of whom will let you play a game if you're willing to wait. This is also where you'll find the most loot. As a bonus, old school games can be found in remote corners by players willing to explore.
Attend with a guild
PAX is a social game offering the chance for brief interactions ("Chatting in Line"), party quests ("Meeting up With Friends") and Escort missions ("Insert Own Joke Here"). Attending PAX with one or more members of your guild will enable you to cover more ground and potentially see or at least hear about more sessions. Keep in mind that there is a fine line between clever and obnoxious. To avoid accruing negative alignment points, follow these guidelines during guild quests:
- Don't wait until the last second to join your guild mates. It is acceptable to send a scout ahead of time to get in line – just don't wait until session time to appear. It artificially inflates the line and aggravates those who have been waiting longer.
- When the session leader says the doors are closed, release any saved seats. This can, and will, happen. When you hear that no one else is getting in, assume your friend missed out – and move your inventory bag. (Also, see bullet #1.)
- Don't assume your cell phone will work. You won't be able to hear it ringing on the show floor, and forget about hearing anyone trying to talk to you. Use text-based messages and clearly state when/where/how you will attempt to communicate again. Better yet, set a time/location to meet up and check in.
- Want to know what people are buzzing about during the show? Point your favorite Twitter client at #pax09. Share your own tips and useful observations there as well!
Regenerate health
There are a handful of health stations located throughout the main PAX map. Choices include "Taco Del Mar," "Subway," "Tully's" and "generic exhibition hall pizza" map points. Creative players may select the add-on maps that open up new areas including "Pacific Place," "Westlake Center," "Pike Place Market," "Starbucks," "Ruth's Chris Steak House" and other nearby health restoration points.
PAX 2008: Cosplay is encouraged,
but know when to take a break!"
Cheat codes are available to help unlock map locations quickly and easily. We recommend:- Urbanspoon for dining recommendations; available as an iPhone app.
- Open Table to make reservations; iPhone app also available.
Save your game
It is important to save your game often in order to maintain stamina for late afternoon quests. You may save your game at any time by sitting down and drinking water, vegging out on the array of provided bean bags or returning to your hotel. Stealth save points are available by ducking into sessions. You might accidentally learn something, too.
Complete the main quest
You may choose to end the main quest line at any time. Keep in mind that the game itself expires at approximately 5 p.m. Sunday, when the final session is scheduled to end. The Exhibition Hall quest is likely to end earlier, so get in last minute shopping and looting earlier in the afternoon.
We hope you have found this guide both entertaining and enlightening. There is much to see and do, and no doubt you will find a quest that was not touched upon here. Good luck, have fun and last but not least, don't be a dick.
See you at PAX!
--GrrlGotGame and Gamewatcher
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