GrrlGotGame - Sony's The Tester marketing reality show needed some actual QA

And then there was one. After eight occasionally entertaining but usually bewildering episodes, Sony has crowned The Next PlayStation Tester™.

For those of you who haven't been playing along at home, Sony concocted a reality show competition/circus to lure 11 people into competing for what is arguably the worst job in videogame development: Quality Assurance Tester. In real life, testers deal with unrealistic expectations and schedules for sub-standard pay. Five minutes into the series, it was clear that most if not all of the contestants don't know this.

No, our game-loving, PS3-playing competitors just want to break into the industry, and what better way to do that than by winning a reality competition? And what a reality show it was – several, actually. It was like a producer pulled elements from every successful reality show and applied a PS3 skin.

Meet the inspirations:

• The Real World: Pull together a cast heavy on personality, which is code for "likely to despise each other." Include at least one hot chick, one fat slob, and someone who is "different, but that's OK." Don't forget two or three ringers who can actually win this thing. Add in a few guys no one will remember in the second half of the season, and you're good to go.
• Nearly every reality show ever made: Force them to live in a "luxurious" apartment. Your contestants will either be unemployed or have quit their jobs to do the show, so expectations will be low. Hire a maid service to clean up after everyone BUT the slob and give them enough PS3s that everyone can play at the same time. Also, stock the fridge with alcohol. If you're lucky, your slob will score you some comic gold ("Hello, Beerios!"). Interview contestants about key game moments and each other. And Beerios.
• Survivor: Hire a challenge coordinator to build bizarre, physical challenges to torture the contestants. Don't worry, your crack Australian medical team will be on hand in case of emergency, no matter what continent you are on at the time. Challenge coordinators, this is also a competition for you. You must find a way to take your over-the-top challenges and tie them to something a tester needs. Blindfolds and bondage gear should come into play whenever possible. Remember, your target audience is pubescent males who play videogames.
• American Idol: Gather a completely random group of people to watch the challenges and give feedback to the contestants, including one legitimate member of the industry. Your panel is responsible for critiquing contestants and making them cry whenever possible. When the contestants are veering toward suicide (career or otherwise), the loser will be asked to pack up his/her PS3 and go. Oh wait, you lost! No PS3 for you! Just cram all your stuff in a garbage bag and get the hell out of our luxurious apartment, loser.
• Project Runway: Give them a mentor who will advise them throughout the journey, offering encouragement and advice to help them take their work to the next level. When they depart, he will hug the contestant and sincerely state, "We're going to miss you," followed by gentle directions to clean up your workspace. Oh wait, this show has nothing to do with skill or knowledge – so no need for the whole mentor/guidance thing. My bad. They did send Hal Sparks to the luxury apartment that one time, though... so we'll pretend they did.
• The Apprentice (regular edition): Invite delusional people to apply for a job they aren't remotely qualified for by making it sound glamorous and cool. Praise them for beating out "thousands" of applicants for this opportunity. When ratings start to lag, create a "Celebrity" edition featuring people from Parade's "Where Are They Now" feature and the occasional Victoria's Secret model. Celebrities will not want to test; they can make more money charging for autographs. Instead, offer them airtime and a refurbished PS4 for their favorite charity.
• When all else fails, be relevant. After many weeks of bizarre LARP, football and rape-y defense challenges, have your contestants do something related to your industry (e.g., play a game on camera). This is also your chance to recoup costs by charging the game developer a ton of cash to co-brand almost the entire episode. We at Busy Gamer News have not yet received our co-branding payment, and thus will not be naming the game. That's our reality, kids.

The producers had a chance to pull the curtain back and give viewers insight into what happens during a critical part of development. Instead, they put together a reality show that reminded me more of The Joe Schmo Show ("What is going on?!") than an actual competition. Hm, that's not bad. Maybe if there was one real contestent and a bunch of actors pretending they wanted the QA job, that would make sense - and be a lot more fun!

When your serious marketing experiment plays out like a parody of itself, something is wrong. What's worse, the winner seemed genuinely thrilled to have won, even though he has no idea what he's supposed to do. That's too bad, because there are many extremely talented testers who have spent the past month watching their jobs be reduced to a spot-the-difference card game.

A game tester friend of mine once told me his job isn't about trying to make things work. It's about trying to break them. In that case, maybe the The Tester did a great job after all. This show wasn't just broken. It was shattered.